4.07.2011

i don't know what to say...


i can't really believe it. i'm so excited, anxious, nervous, optimistic, happy all at that same time.  i still really can't believe it.  i couldn't have gotten through 4 months without the support and cathartic release that this blog has provided me.  through this almost 2 year journey, there were many, many, many days that i thought this day would never come.  i just hope this little nugget sticks!

below i'm going to detail how i came to find out that i'm PREGNANT (OMG, really?!?) in case you're interested.  i think this will also serve as my last post if everything goes well with the pregnancy.  i just remember how sometimes it was so difficult for me to get updates in my google reader from newly pregnant bloggers when i was struggling so hard with month after month of BFNs.  so, if you're interested in following my pregnancy journey, email me using the link on my blog/profile, and i'll update you to my new blog whenever i set it up.  again, thanks for following me on this journey!

how i found out:
so, after working a 30hr shift where i took care of many sick babies, one in particular who will likely die today after his family decides to withdraw care on him, i was feeling particularly beat down and exhausted.  it was a really rough night, and i may have slept a maximum of 30 minutes - 1 hour the whole night.  as i was leaving work, the thought popped into my head that, i hadn't peed since first thing that morning. (it was close to 1pm by this time.) i thought, i bet if i took a pregnancy test, my urine would be super concentrated, enough so that it'd turn positive if was pregnant.  (this is because i hardly ever drink enough water at work when i'm really busy which is a terrible habit.)  i kind of brushed off this thought because i was thinking i would start my period tomorrow like i do every month 14 dpo.  on the way home, i couldn't stop thinking about taking a test.  i finally convinced myself to take one just so i could get the thought out of my head and get some much needed sleep.  so, i got home, let the dog out and peed in my cup.  i dipped my internet cheapie hcg and forced myself not to watch it develop like i normally do but to instead quickly jump in the shower to get the stench of the hospital off me.  in the shower i prayed, not for it to be positive, but for me to accept whatever the results were.  i repeated over and over, "be joyful in hope, patient in adversity and  faithful in prayer."  i finished my shower and took a deep breath and quickly and ineffectively dried myself off.  i cautiously walked to the counter where i had left my test.  i could NOT believe my eyes when i saw those 2 beautiful pink lines.  i cried immediately, and i NEVER cry.  i stared at my face in the mirror.  i still couldn't believe it.  i fell to my knees, crying, naked and wet (sorry for the visual) and thanked God over and over again.  i then dipped my digital just to be sure and that pic is posted above! 

again, thanks so much for following me on this journey.  i wish each of you the best of luck!

23 comments:

  1. Awwww!!! Congratulations! Hope you have a healthy & happy pregnancy!

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  2. Thanks Babina! I wish you the best of luck this month!!

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  3. Congratulations! finally you'll be counting 9 months...have a safe pregnancy!

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  4. Congratulations!! This is so wonderful!! I definately want to follow your other blog. Will you come follow mine again once you get it set up?

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  5. OMG that's soooooo great! When I saw that picture I was sooooo happy for you!! Congratulations and have a safe and wonderful pregnancy! I would def like to follow you on your new blog, so def stop by my blog or email me with your new blog link! YEAH :)

    IMO I think you should keep this blog and just add to it because it is continuing your journey. You can name it- Bump Envy NO MORE haha! J/K.

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  6. Oh... wow. Wow! I sat here reading your post with my jaw wide open. I'm elated for you hun. Just... elated.

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  7. Bump this is great news and I'm thrilled for you. I'm a little sad though that I just found your blog and now you'll be leaving. If you start another one, stop by and let me know, I'd love to continue following you.

    Congrats and I wish you a happy, healthy 9 months. Good Luck!

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  8. @ claire - thanks for your well wishes!
    @ breakfast - thanks! i definitely will follow yours once i set it up :)
    @ AV - thanks so much! i'll leave you a comment (hopefully it won't get erased!) with my new blog when i set it up. i thought about keeping this one but i think it's hopefully for the best to move on
    @ tami - thank so much for your kind words! i really appreciate your comments over the last few months.
    @ residency - i'll definitely still follow you and root for you. when i set up the new blog, i'll let you know!

    thanks again for all of the support to everyone who has ever lurked or commented on this blog! i'm still here rooting for all of you!!!

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  9. YAY congrats!! Have a Happy and Healthy 9 months

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  10. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
    Been away and started a new job, so I have not been following my blogs as closely. THRILLED to log on and see this today though! How wonderful! All the best & please keep me posted with your new blog URL!

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  11. @ aime - thanks so much!
    @ heather - I'm glad you stopped by! Thanks for the well wishes! I'll post the URL whenever I set it up!

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  12. Congratulations! So happy for you :)

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  13. Aw, Bump, I'm soooo excited for you!!! I just logged into my account and saw the comment for you. The first thing that jumped in my mind, was I bet it's a BFP!! So I ran over to here and am so happy I was right. :) I'd love to follow your new blog, definitely let me know what it is.

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  14. @ breanna - thanks!
    @ M - thanks! i hope you get your bfp soon too! thanks for all of your comments and support!

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  15. Bump - I'm so very happy for you!! So happy! Congratulations! :)

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  16. thanks mrs. c - i appreciate the comment! :)

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  17. Bump Im so very happy for you!!! Reading your post gave me goosebumps! I know two years is along time to see those beautiful two lines. So so so happy for you!! Best of luck to you thru the next 9 months!

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  18. Thanks so much MissyCrissy! It was a long time coming and we are so appreciative. Best of luck to you too!

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  19. Well I am back, with some wonderful news to share with you now... we are pregnant! Got our BFP 2 days ago!
    I hope you don't mind me reaching out to you like this since we don't even know each other, but and I am scared to death! We agreed not to tell our parents until after our dr. aptmt on 4/26, and I don't know how I am going to make it without a support system.... DH has been pretty great so far, but I feel like I am wearing him down, and I would love to talk to someone who has been there before. So I dunno..... I just thought I'd reach out to you because we are kind of in the same boat..... If you feel like entertaining a stranger, my email is heatherboccassini@gmail.com ~ I'd really appreciate it! Thanks & all the best!

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  20. great news heather!! i sent you an email. :)

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  21. Congratulations!!! I just hopped over and never followed you, but I'd love to follow the new blog.

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  22. Has anyone heard from Bump? I hope all is going well with the pregnancy

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