Insomnia

I can't sleep. Even though I worked worked a 30 hour shift where I got very little sleep & I only took a 3 hour nap afterward, I'm wide awake. So far this month I still haven't gotten one positive ovulation predictor test. I usually test positive anywhere around cycle day 12-17. My cycle is usually 28-32 days, usually more consistently 30-32 days. I'm so frustrated. We're still TRYING to make a baby, meaning having sex except for yesterday because of work, but what's the point if I'm not even ovulating! Today my husband and I talked about making an appointment with my doctor. I asked him what we would do if we found out there was a problem. We don't have the financial means right now to do fertility treatments. He said at least we would KNOW and not be so stress. I guess he's right but KNOWING and not being able to do anything about it is also scary. It'll be another couple of years before I finish my training so that I can actually make a real doctor's salary. I just hate thinking of having to wait that long if something is wrong...

Today my best friend found out she's having a girl. I'm happy for her but also a lot jealous. I know I shouldn't be but I am.